The Adventures of the Blind/Low Vision/Visually Impaired (BLOVI) Girl-Volume 79: Some Lessons Learned
This week a short blog (because I am actually trying to finish my book proposal) about some interesting lessons I have learned just in the last week or so. But first…………..
My WTF of the week is the fact that I fell headlong into the generation gap, one I kept denying was there in the first place. I consider myself cool, up to date; I listen to the Gen Y music, emulate their fashion, use strange terms like that is toats fab”, but I am learning they know jack about my generation. In a recent conversation with a Gen Y person I mentioned that my recently relocated to NYC friend had an amazing celebrity sighting his second day in the city: Carol Burnett. I expected to get some kind of reaction like OMG that is huge, she is so darn famous. But what I got was “who is that”. I repeated, you know the Carol Burnett show. Blank look on the face indicating no clue. So then I say, I think that was better than my Chelsea sighting of Jessica Lange and Sam Shepherd and again, blank look and “nope, I have no clue who they are”. Unbelievably I say, you know Jessica Lange, 70's King Kong, Tootsie, no, never seen those movies, no clue. How is this possible? It is possible because I am a Gen X’er in my mid- forties who grew up with these stars and these youngsters do not know or do they care to watch older movies or reruns. If I can walk and talk and know crap in your world, they should know crap in mine, right? My dauber is going to be retro cool, like me, who is obsessed with my mother’s late 60’s furniture and can sing along with the Best of Bread. SO she is watching the Brady Bunch.
This week that is what I just can’t get enough of, the absolute innocence and sometimes naivety of the Brady Bunch, which my seven year old daughter is now watching and enjoying. This is the antithesis of the Nick/Disney shows. The parents are in the show as central figures, the children are respectful and mostly kind to each other and when they made mistakes they actually feel guilty, show remorse and apologize. The parents are trusting yet fair and also let the kids work through their own problems. In a recent episode Gregg gets caught smoking and then a pack of cigs falls out of a coat that is not his. His parents totally believe him when he says they are not his (OK, so this would have never happened to me in the 80’s-my mom would have said something like I know those are yours, don’t give me that crap). But Tom and Carol say something like “well you have done some things we have not liked, but you have never lied to us before, so we believe you”. And then the kid whose cigs they are cops to it to both Tom and Carol and his own mother. This is amazing! I am using the Brady Bunch to teach my daughter useful life lessons which are mostly look how those kids respect and listen to their parents and how honest they are. Now if I could just find Partridge Family reruns for some good single parenting family situations.
I often give a talk about the things I know to be true, which is really positive and motivational. But there is a dark side to some of the things I know to be true, and that is what I want to capture here. A brief list of things I have learned on my walk on this planet and believe me, this is just a partial list based on recent incidents.
1) When a guy says I know I told you that story and he did not and yet he insist he did, he is talking to someone else and does not remember who he told the story to-you are in a queue, one of the many.
2) When people say they are trying to protect you but did not tell you what from and why they are concerned and have a meeting wherein you are discussed but no one will tell you what was said, they are really trying to protect themselves or their faith or institution-it really has nothing to do with you and you were probably in the wrong place at the wrong time.
3) If people want you to leave town and they mention a lot of times how it is time for you to leave town and suggest you should sell your house “as is” and quickly and then you get an affidavit saying it is OK for you to move, then they are trying to get rid of you. OK, this is blatant and they are somehow of afraid of you.
4) If someone, after talking to others about you, says they can't talk to you for a few days to decompress, this means they likely need time to figure out what and how much they are going to tell you, may feel guilty or they need time to make up an alternate version of what they said. Unfortunately I have found the latter to be truer, so check for tire tracks on your back.
5) If you are told that you look good for your age, this is not at all a compliment. I want to look good for a 35 or 36 year old. This just means you actually look your age and are attractive and that is not at all acceptable. In addition if someone says that a cosmetic procedure could probably make you look better, book the appointment immediately.
6) If you get accused of being things you are not or maybe just a little of, just a little of the time (and you are not in denial) it is likely someone is projecting their own issues onto to you. I call this the pot calling the kettle black conversation and I have had many of them. So if you feel projected upon which you will know from an icky slime coating and the feeling that what they are saying just does not apply, just start calling them Pot. Like, “that’s great Pot” or “you are so right about that Pot”.
These are six of the dozens and maybe hundreds of things I have learned and these are just from this week. Life is never boring and lessons can always be learned.
Keep Moving Forward,
Beth (BLOVI) Medlock
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