January 18, 2012-Volume 56: The Mother of Reinvention

The Adventures of the Blind/Low Vision/Visually Impaired (BLOVI) Girl- Volume 56: The Mother of Reinvention

This year we decided to focus our third annual women’s event on reinventing yourself and transformation. In preparation for the event and what I am going to say, I have begun thinking about how reinvention has been a major part of my life.  The ability to reinvent myself in the face of change is what has made me strong, focused and confident.

I am not unique in that way.  We all have reinvented ourselves; maybe without knowing it or defining it as such. Every time a major life change happens; career change, marriage, divorce, relocation, illness, etc., there is an opportunity for reinvention.   I say an opportunity because reinventing yourself is a choice.  It is the choice I have always made, but I could have just as easily gotten depressed, stuck, and resentful or given up. I have those feelings, but something always compels me to move forward and to try and clear out the negative thoughts and energy.

The work of reinvention happens on the inside. It involves having a clear vision about our purpose and what we want in life, convincing ourselves that we can walk down the path toward our vision and having the ability to have faith and take some risks to walk down that path even if we have not worked out all the details. I think the two key concepts, for me, are faith and risk taking. I am grounded in the belief that I can change the world and I have a purpose and I am willing to move forward even when I have no clue what the path looks like. I step out on the limb and hope to hell it does not break. But, if it does, I try and have a safety net to catch ne.

Eventually, with a vision and purpose in mind, the belief we can move toward that vision and our willingness to let go of the past and actually change, we can begin to take action and translate those changed on the inside into changes in our behavior and how we live.  The key here is a willingness to let go of the past. Letting go of the past not only means forgiving and forgetting, but realizing that there are only a few things you can control in life and the rest is a thrill ride. It also means letting go of old beliefs, habits and messages that we have ingrained in our beings from childhood. And that takes work.

Every change brings opportunity, hence the phrase when one door closes, another one opens. What they don’t tell you is that sometimes you have to really look for the doors and many times you have to kick the doors open. This means you must be aware, present and confident. 

As a coach, I work with people to help then transition through life’s changes so that they see them as new opportunities. Through support and accountable I help people create a vision and propose and walk sown the oath toward it. Reinvention is not always easy and you may need help, but it is possible.  The alternative is continuing to repeat old patterns and feeling stuck, hopeless, and unmotivated.  Choosing to reinvent yourself is choosing to continue to grow and change. 

As a person I embrace reinvention and am currently in the process of another transformation after another life change. How I am transforming myself now and how I have in the past and what that life change was is probably going to be the focus of my talk at the event.  As usual I have no clue what will come out of my mouth. But isn’t that what makes life interesting.

Keep Moving Forward,

Beth (BLOVI) Medlock

January 5, 2012-Volume 55: The Real Social Network

The Adventures of the Blind/Low Vision/Visually Impaired (BLOVI) Girl-Volume 55: The Real Social Network

After going home and seeing my family and some of my oldest friends I began thinking about the importance of having a real social network of people who know you, and how that is different from the internet based social network. The people in my peer group and those that are older have a different take on issues of privacy and the need for face time. The importance of a close network of friends is the focus of my blog.  But first………………

My WTF of the week is weird children’s toys. I am convinced some of these toys are not only made to rob you of your money, but frustrate you to the point of exhaustion. We got the dancing chicken, Keepon, and it kept on for about 15 minutes and then my daughter lost all interest in it. I think the adults liked it better; especially the older ones so we decided it would be a great source of amusement in older folk’s homes.  The worst thing ever is these things called Orbeez. We got the Orbeez foot spa and jewelry maker.  The Orbeez are basically little grains of a colored sand like substance than, when soaked in water, grow into rubbery, slippery beads that bounce. What great fun tracking down bouncing beads. In the foot spa there are these rotating cups that dump the beads over your child's foot. I have no idea how this is soothing or relaxing in any way, but my daughter sat there for over an hour with her feet in the thing. The jewelry maker is a joke. Basically you plump up different colored Orbeez and put them into plastic locket things shaped like hearts or stars and put them around your neck. I was expecting them to harden or have a hole and mold into something, but they are just rubbery, slippery beads. I must admit a genius invented these things which are really most appealing because they get bigger in water and thought how many different ways can we sell these.  If I am going to make things grow in water then Sea Monkeys would have been much more amusing. I will say we are conducting an experiment with the Orbeez to see how fast they shrink back when placed in sunlight and if they can be rehydrated. This was not my idea; it was my engineer boyfriend’s idea. I could care less what they do-I just want them to disappear.

This week I can’t get enough of the fact my daughter is now 6 years old. How did this happen? I actually liked age 5 a lot and hope age 6 will be just as good, but she is getting that I am a big girl and do not have to take orders from you attitude so I am not sure how it will all go. She is having many birthday parties and likes to talk about this. The list for the friend’s party at the Mad Platter is over 30 and she keeps adding kids.  We had a huge turnout last year and once again I am paying per child so I somewhat fear the turnout this year. My daughter does not understand the Mommy is paying per head idea and I could not even get her to believe that there was a cap on the number of kids due to space. She told me there was a lot of room. I am not sure how I actually convinced her there is no such place as Disney World, but so far that one has stuck. I was adamant on the no gifts this year, although that has not always worked in the past. This year we decided to give parents an alternative by adopting a rescue gorse since we are having a my little pony party and it went well with the theme.  When they see those pictures of that poor abused horse they will donate and forget about getting gifts for Sadie.  She keeps negotiating that we can do the horse rescue and also have people give gifts but I am not budging and when she finally picked the horse she seemed OK about not getting gifts from friends. 

I know I should be writing about resolutions or goals for the New Year but I have done that and I never really write those things down. A better topic is my trip to Tampa and the fact I got to see my family and friends.  I saw my grandmother for the first time this year and she is doing better with her dementia drugs and seems really happy at her senior home.  Her roommate and she are close and she has formed a group of friends. The funny thing is that one of the women calls them the Latino Power Group and often shakes her fist and yells "Latino Power”.  I am thinking of getting t-shirts made. There are lots of interesting people at her home like the ex-priest who likes to go into people’s rooms and lay his hands on their faces to bless them, which many are not thrilled about. They also have a wonderful caregiver, Josepha, who puts jewelry and makeup on them, so they look great. My grandmother explains that she is the best Bingo player there and often wins. You get a dollar for each card so its big money.  I am convinced that having a network of people around her and doing activities with them has made her happier and more functional.

Speaking of friends, my high school friends had a gathering while I was home and all my best friends of 30 years were there (see picture).  I had not seen them in over four years. They asked me a few questions about how I was doing and how much I could see and then we quickly moved on to normal gossip and catching up. This included the “where are they now” on ex boyfriends and “do they look good or like crap” on people who were classmates.  We reminisced about how wild we were and how glad we were that there was no Facebook, cell phones or GPS back in the day.  My friends have all learned to track their kids through Facebook, but most don’t use it themselves. It always amazes me that after all this time and life changes my friends are basically the same people.  And I think that is really important, both that you can pick up where you left off and you know what to expect.

All my friends have kids and they were all there too. Sadie was the youngest child so she was the hit of the party.  All the kids gathered upstairs in my friend’s daughter’s room. There must have been 15 of them sitting in a circle playing games on a dry erase board and telling stories. My daughter went up there and only came down once to eat. She was having a wonderful time and all the kids thought she was super smart because when they asked her what was her favorite color she said “magenta”.  Most of them go to the same catholic schools we went to and dance at the same dance studios or play at the same ball fields. My friend’s lids are all friends and so the network continues in their generation. 

I somehow feel I am missing out on that, especially as I watched my dearest friends and their kids dote on my child. I know I will probably never end up in Tampa, but there is a part of me that would love to send my daughter to the Academy of the Holy Names and have her dance at Elsa Pardo or the studio of my childhood friend Lisa.  But I cherish the fact that my friends are still my friends and will be no matter what. There is nothing that can replace that.

Keep Moving Forward,

Beth (BLOVI) Medlock