May 23, 2012-Volume 69: What Else Should I Be, All Apologies

The Adventures of the Blind/Low Vision/Visually Impaired (BLOVI) Girl-Volume 69: What Else Should I Be, All Apologies

Recently I decided that I may have acted badly during the months of January through April. Lots of stressful stuff was happening and I was, at times, not handling things well. So the universe gave me some signs and one night, rather late, I started writing apology e-mails.  What got me there and what I learned is the focus of this blog.  But first………….

My WTF of the week is the commercials that are really porn-oriented. And by this I mean they are filled with overt sexual overtones.  The KY ads are just plain stupid and it worries me that the implication is that couples need all these aids to make time for sex.  There is a thing called skill. My guess is that men who are not getting much come up with these gems. Then there are the commercials that are filled with sexual innuendo. My favorite of the moment is the Liquid Plummer Double Penetration commercial. Please tell me you have seen this one where the two buff men pose on either side of a woman and there is a line that says something about a long snake penetrating deeply. The narrator has a deep Barry White voice and there is some sexy music (the type you may put on for an evening of fun at home) in the background.  OMG these ad men are watching too much adult programming. Or maybe I am wrong and women are coming up with these commercials (doubtful).

This week I can’t get enough of memory foam mattresses.  While shopping for a mattress for my daughter, I was tempted to try out the memory foam mattresses. Soon I was lying on every memory foam mattress there was.  Like Goldilocks I had to try them all and decide if it was too soft or too hard or just right. I decided the firm Temperpedic memory foam is the best mattress ever. When I tried it out it automatically conformed to my body. I did not want to get up, ever and I thought how do people get out of bed every day if this is the bed on which they are sleeping. I would be in the bed floating on a foamy cushion of total comfort as much as possible.  It reminded me how inferior my current mattress is and how could I have wasted so much of my life sleeping on a bed without this memory foam. I was blown away by the cost, however which quickly ended my hopes and dreams for being able to sleep on the memory foam mattress. Basically, they are the price of a used car or a really nice vacation. So I developed a theory of why people with money are successful and can be even more successful, it is because they can afford a memory foam mattress and are getting the benefits of much better sleep. With quality sleep, they are more energetic and their minds are sharper and process things more efficiently and they are generally in a better mood. The rest of us mere mortals don’t stand a chance, unless we can finance one of these mattresses and pay on it for years to ensure a quality sleep experience.  One day, one day, it will be mine.

So the universe recently gave me a few signs that maybe I was not being my best self the first quarter of the year. I had a string of events pile up that were out of my control and as a result was under a great deal of stress. Sometimes, I do well under stress and sometimes I hit the wall. At some point I must have hit the wall because I noticed I was holding onto a lot of anger and negative energy. I have done the work to get that all cleared out and am in a better place. But in looking back, which I admit to not doing so much, I realized I may have been a difficult person with which to engage. Let’s just say I was being a little bitchy at times. So, one night it came upon me that there were a handful of people that had disappeared from my life and I decided the bitchy thing may have been the reason why. I felt a need to apologize so I began writing apology e-mails.  I felt lighter and better when I did this and I hoped I had mended some bridges.

Interestingly enough, only one of the people to whom I apologized actually had a problem with something I did. The rest were surprised that I felt the need to apologize and said I had done nothing to hurt or offend them and did not need to apologize. This was news to me. Maybe I can hold things back and fake it better than I thought; maybe I am not so bitchy after all. The act of sending the apologies, whether they needed to be said or not, was the important thing to me. What I realized is that I really do not want to do anything to offend or hurt people in any way. And I strive to be a good person. I work on forgiveness all the time and I think I hope that others can forgive me and also be honest enough to tell me when I have done something to upset them. This open communication is important and I don’t think you can have authentic relationships without it.

So, in the final analysis I come back to my desire to live authentically and to have authentic relationships with people who also live authentically. It is a theme that keeps repeating and getting more important as I get older. I am learning I have little tolerance for BS or drama, even though it sometimes lands in my lap. I have learned to try and self-monitor, admit when I am angry or sad or resentful and own those feelings and most importantly, have enough respect for people and friendships so as to not damage them by my behavior.  And if I can do that, and apologize when I need or (or even when I don’t) I am doing right by myself.

Keep Moving Forward,

Beth (BLOVI) Medlock

May 9, 2012-Volume 68: An Ode to my Ped E Cab

The Adventures of the Blind/Low Vision/Visually Impaired (BLOVI) Girl- Volume 68: An Ode to my Ped E Cab

This week I am dispensing with my normal blog format to gush over my new Ped E Cab Electric Tricycle. But next week get ready for a blog about me waking up in the middle of the night sending out apology letters to tons of people. But back to the Ped E Cab.  Her name is Polly Persephone the Pink Ped E Cab. Polly was Sadie’s choice, Persephone was mine. She is hot pink and I have included pictures to show how magnificent she is.  Note the awesome details.  The front lights look kike an owl and butterflies. The side reflectors are the yin and yang symbol and there are cool wave like swirls under the front seat. She was made in Southern California so that makes her rad.

Polly Persephone is not only stylish and cool, she is practical and green. She has a rechargeable battery that can go 25 to 30 miles on one charge. She can obtain speeds of 15 to 20 miles per hour. She is the size of a regular tricycle, so I can ride on the street or on the sidewalks. And it can be pedaled so it is classified as a bike. No need for insurance or a pesky license. As you can see it has a moped look so it has a cool horn, turn signals, brake lights and head and tail lights so that you could ride at night (which I won’t be doing.  I also bought a canopy so we can ride it rain or shine. And the back seat has a seatbelt and lifts up for storage so I can go grocery shopping or make a Target run. No more days where I am jonesing for chocolate and can’t get a fix.

Thus far the Ped E Cab is a big hit. We have been stopped many times so people can ask us what it is, what it does and where can they get one. We get lots of waves and thumbs ups and have heard people calling out “that is cool”, which makes us feel like rock stars. I have a plan to do the first episode of Pimp my Trike. I want to make it super flashy with silver streamers and cool decals, but my child is anti-stickers. Go figure, I want the glitz and she wants it simple. When did she become sticker aversive? I think I can at least get the streamers on without much protest.  

The main thing the Ped E Cab has given me is more independence and freedom. I took my child to school, and we went to the grocery store, to eat at a restaurant and to get mani/pedis. Just she and I, without a driver, and that freedom was priceless. In addition she loves to ride in the cab seat, throwing up her hands and yelling “faster mommy, faster”. She is definitely my child.  And it makes me feel sassy and young. The other day I wore pigtails while riding it, sporting my helmet with flowers and pink straps.

I am starting a Ped E Cab revolution. Everyone should get one who lives in town. We could have Ped E cab rides and rallies and a Ped E Cab accoutrements swap. A girl can dream. For now, I am on my Ped E cab every day, feeling free and taking in the sights. If you see me or us, give us a shout out!

Keep Moving Forward,

Beth (BLOVI) Medlock

May 2, 2012-Volume 67: Is Freedom just another word for nothing left to lose?

The Adventures of the Blind/Low Vision/Visually Impaired (BLOI) Girl: Volume 67: Is Freedom just another word for nothing left to lose?

I am a stable, organized person who is responsible and somewhat of a risk taker. Lately, I have been wondering, however, if I am free in the sense of being able to let go, have a good time, and do things I want to do, not just what I have to do. At times I envy those that can just go out during the week, or take a vacation, or buy something extravagant, or drive a car. Not because those things would make me happy, but it is those things that would make me feel more free. The concept of feeling free is the focus of this blog. But first…………

My WTF of the week is the fact that I received the absolute meanest, most vicious e-mail ever from a person I do not know and have only spoken to twice in a professional matter.  I have to put some of the quotes so you can get a sense of the level of nastiness. Please note I did not correct spelling or grammatical errors.  “I guess some people think everything is owed to them and appreciate nothing. I cant imagine what you teach people through life by design. I can only hope its not through example”. Another good one-“It seems in that circle they have come to expect that sort of behavior from you. Always the agressor, yet always the victim.” And the best one- “What a sad person you must be”. There were lots more than just these nuggets. At first my reaction was shock, and then I cried. But by the third time I read it I realized it was absurd to get upset at a clearly angry individual who knows nothing of me but could take the time and energy to write the e-mail. All I have to say is that I forgive you and sometimes medication is a good thing.

This week I can’t get enough of the OWN channel (otherwise known as the Oprah Winfrey Network). I watched OWN for the first time this past Sunday, as I do not watch much TV (well other than Mad Men and Bravo). Luckily I was watching Super Soul Sunday and they had some awesome shows. She was interviewing Deepak Chopra in India and he was just throwing out one awesome quote after another. They had a great show on Bishop TD jakes and of course a Tony Robbins Lifeclass. At night I watched the Oprah in India special. Everything I watched was so compelling and relevant to what I do. The LifeClass series is awesome. The free advice and wisdom is just being thrown out every minute. On one show one of her experts said, about relationships. “when you see crazy coming, cross the street”. I am totally using that one in coaching. I could easily become a fan of the channel and I do think everyone should check it out, especially the Lifeclass series and the Master Class series. Really good stuff.

As a single mom and a business owner I have lots of responsibilities and not a lot of time. In addition, because I cannot drive, it limits where I can go and when. So at times I feel trapped, in my house or in my circumstance. Part of getting some freedom was getting the motorized tricycle.   That gives me the freedom to go places when I just feel like it. But I was also thinking about how to get a sense of freedom in the midst of obligations. A friend told me that freedom is all in your mind. I think part of freedom is having the ability to choose or as I tell my clients to be in a place of choice. This means recognizing what is in your control and not in your control. So freedom means recognizing what you can control, looking at options and taking action. And that is what I try to do, so in that I am free. Freedom also means feeling you have the right and ability to be, act and do. That means seeing possibilities and that they are open and available to me, basically the belief that “I can do that or try that”.  And in that I am free. Freedom also means having a sense of fun and joy. For me this means that I can go out and dance and sing sometimes. Right now I am not doing those things, so I have decided tis start dancing again and maybe singing because this makes me feel happy and creative, and in that I feel free. Madonna says “only when I'm dancing do I feel this free” and I think there is truth to that.

So, when I really thought about freedom and what it means, I realized that I am free. Maybe I thought freedom meant having no responsibilities, or having everything available and in your control. But that is not freedom. And freedom probably means different things to different people. So I think when we feel overwhelmed, or constrained or even stuck I think we should consider what makes us feel free and to first free our minds. “Free your mind and the rest will follow”, Salt and Pepper sing. And they are right. Being free in your mind, being open to possibility, being able to see yourself in new roles and ways of being and doing, and being in a place of choice, even amongst obligation, makes us free.

Keep Moving Forward,

Beth (BLOVI) Medlok