March 7, 2012-Volume 62: Getting Back to What is Important

The Adventures of the Blind/Low Vision/Visually Impaired (BLOVI) Girl- Volume 62: Getting Back to What is Important

After getting rid of Debbie Downer I am now focusing on getting back to what is important to me and reconnecting with the community. The things that are important and that are key in how I live are speaking truth to power, integrity, walking the talk and being the change. Living these things is not always easy, and interestingly does not always make you popular, but to me they are essential.  I found a poem that expresses much of how I want to live and how it inspires me is the focus of this blog.   But first……………

My WTF of the week is the fact that I got groped in a bar this past weekend. And let me be clear that having a drunken middle aged man place his hands on you when not invited to do so is not at all an acceptable thing. The groping incident happened in a bar called the Tin Roof.  I was there with two younger friends but for some reason was the target of the groping. The first act of groping occurred when he put his hands on my hips and attempted to push me into his groin area, at which point I shoved him and told him to step back (loudly and laced with obscenities).  About five minutes later I was turned towards the bar when I felt someone full on whole-handed grab my buttocks.  I turned around and there was the groper. At this point I lost it, put my finger in his face and told him to never place his hands on me again and to back the F up immediately.  After about five minutes of added emphasis on the back the F up and go away he left, only to make a third attempt, at which point I asked for someone to get the bouncer. The bouncer came out and talked to the guy so he did not grope me again, he just groped another woman.  The guys standing nearest us who witnessed this said they had been at least 5 other women's "boyfriends" that night because this guy had also groped them and they needed protection.  A big shout out to the Tin Roof for allowing this sloppy drunk man to basically sexually harass women in their establishment.  I will never go there again.  And guys, it is not at all cool to grab or touch a woman whom you do not know and who has not invited you to do so.  And why does this keep happening to me. First the dirty talking man of last year and now a groper. Boy do I attract the winners.

This week I can’t get enough of the fact there is about a 90% chance that my daughter and I will be going to NYC for the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. I bet those balloons will look really, really huge in person. Sadie is already planning her trip and purchases at the American Girl store (I am putting her to work to earn some money) and FAO Swartz. I am thinking about Canal street fake Gucci and Prada bags, the Dion Von Furstenberg store in the Meat packing district and eating in Little Italy. We will probably be there 4 or 5 days and I plan to take the city by storm. I have so much energy when I am there and there are just so many things to do. The fact my daughter gets to experience NYC and the parade at her age is awesome.  

Living my life authentically and living it with integrity is not always easy. I have also noticed that it is sometimes not popular to speak truth, live with passion and be a nonconformist. I find these all essential, but it often puts me at odds with people. And it doesn’t mean crazy or negative things don't keep happening. As I put out positive energy, the universe brought me the poem below and I aspire to live it. It is by Rudyard Kipling and note he uses Man to mean everyone, so this poem is applicable to all.

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

This poem is something to hold in front of me. It reminds me to stay true to myself, while at the same time not judging others. That is something on which I have to work. I admittedly can have a hard time not stating how I feel about the actions of others, and in that I am judging. It reminds me to take risks, to keep the faith and that I have the power to rebuild. It reminds me to not get caught up in the drama around me, which is also hard not to do. Lastly it reminds me not to take myself too seriously and to be humble and to treat all with respect.  I hope it also inspires you.

Keep Moving Forward,

Beth (BLOVI) Medlock