The Adventures of the Blind/Low Vision/Visually Impaired (BLOVI) Girl- Volume 31
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=f2iWYE3Zbcc
I am calling this the birthday blog because my birthday is in a few days and getting another year older always makes me think about the process of aging and how I have changed and grown wiser. So this week I am going to focus on some of the important things I have learned and ways I have changed in my 40’s. But first…………………..
My WTF of the week is the fact that I injured my neck while playing Cornhole. Admittedly, before I went to the party where the game was being played I was thinking that cornhole was something else entirely. For those of you who have not played it you throw these sacks filled with popcorn kernels at a slanted board with a hole on it. The object of the game is to score points by getting your bag in the hole or getting it on the slanted board. I did pretty well for someone who is visually impaired because I kept adjusting the angle of the throw. But somehow the repeated underhand throwing caused a severe pain on the right side of my neck and I can barely turn it or look upward. So be careful when engaging in cornholing, a seemingly innocuous but potentially injury causing game.
This week I can’t get enough of the fact that I am going to get to cross off an item that almost made my bucket list. I am going to do a pole dancing class for six weeks over the summer. Now I need to say that this is not a stripper training class, but an actual fitness class at a gym where I will be wearing workout clothes, not a costume. I am so excited about the class because it is a fantastic core workout and just one more thing I have in my repertoire. I wish I would have taken the class earlier because while I was in Charlotte over the past weekend I happened upon the North Carolina Pole Dancing Championships. Although, as a learned later the women had super long hair and bot much of a costume and the way that they were drumming up audience members was to walk around to bars in the area and flash people New Orleans Mardi Gras style. So, in the end I don’t think this is a contest I would have entered because I am not much of a flasher.
As I turn another year older and move headlong into middle age, I have realized that like a fine wine, I have grown better with age. There are so many ways I have matured. I decided to put some of those ways in list form below.
1) I care less and less about what other people think about me. I have learned the point is to stay true to myself and what I believe and to act with honesty and integrity. I really cannot control how other people respond to me, so I don’t think much about it.
2) I like myself more and am more comfortable in my own skin. I don’t obsess about my weight or even put on makeup every day and most days when I look in the mirror I like what I see. Admittedly I can’t see myself all that well now, but I liked what I saw before I lost my vision and I still do.
3) I can be happy alone and really enjoy my time alone more than I used to. I now cherish having times for quiet and relaxation and just doing the couch potato sessions.
4) I am more patient and lose my temper less often. With the exception of my PMDD days, I am mostly calm and can let things roll off my back. Gone are the days of being angry about the little things. I am not saying that I am not assertive when I need to be because I am, but I don’t get into yelling matches with, let’s just say a clerk at a fast food restaurant who gave me the wrong change and called me a liar. And I have less people on my “sh*t list”.
5) I have learned to focus my energy on people, places and things that make me happy and not waste it on things that don’t give back. Sure there are things I must do and people with whom I have to deal that are tedious, but I know enough to limit those. I am more selective about where I put my time and energy and don’t try to do everything well or be all things to all people because I have learned doing that will just cause major stress.
6) I take more risks and have found that learning new skills is becoming more important than learning new information. Maybe my brain is just getting full, but as I have gotten older my focus has shifted from learning about new things in an intellectual sense to learning how to do new things, like belly dancing, interior design, rock climbing, kayaking, and riding a bike. All these things I have learned in the last few years and they bring ne joy. I still like learning new information and to expand my base of knowledge but it is taking a backseat to the experience of things.
7) I find humor in more things. So many things are just plain funny. I think the reason is because I am more of an observer of what is going on around me and less in my head. And I find that when you are an observer there are many things to find the humor in.
8) I have learned that you don’t necessarily have to like the people in your family, but you have to love and forgive them when you can.
9) I have learned to let go of the past and to focus on what is ahead of me. I don’t replay things in my head or obsess much about what I should have done or said. I know that the past is the past and my job is to learn from past experiences, not dwell on them. I know that I have the power to create the future I want and at the same time recognize that you never really have control over what happens in your life.
10) I place less importance on being independent and realize the need for being part of a group and being connected to others. I know that I really can’t do it all on my own and that relying on others is not a weakness, but a strength.
There are other ways I have changed, but the ones above are the most important. And I do not feel old in any way. I have the energy I had in my 30’s and maybe even 20’s. I think I am still cool because I keep up with fashion and design and the latest bands (although I could be fooling myself). So if 40 is the new 30, then I am good for the next seven years. I may be more freaked out when I hit 50, but so far aging has been an OK process. So here is to another year older.
Keep Moving Forward,
Beth (BLOVI) Medlock
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