The Adventures of the Blind/Low Vision/Visually Impaired (BLOVI) Girl–Volume 33: The L-Word
This week I am going to talk about how I found love on EHarmony. So yes I do owe them a huge apology. I am excited and somewhat awestruck that I found my life partner at the point when I threw up my hands and gave up. I have learned much already from the new relationship and that is my focus this week. But First…………………
My WTF of the week is the pain that I endured while ripping the hairs off my legs with my new epilator. Not that I was not warned. As you know pain meds and alcohol were suggested, but not used. I even decided, before proceeding, that I would not need the ice pack provided. And I was horribly wrong. The epilator was worse that a bikini wax by far because it never seemed to end. As it ripped out each hair it felt as if I was being stuck by pins, over and over in multiple places. I tried to use deep breathing and all my other natural child birth methods to get through the experience, but I found myself having to take breaks every 10 minutes or so. Plus, because I could not see the hair I was pulling out, I had to go by feel and go over the same area multiple times. By the time I started the second leg I had resorted to the ice pack, but it did not help much. Needless to say my plans for using this on the underarms has been put on permanent hold. They have a head for sensitive areas and show it being used on the underarms and bikini area in the instruction book, but I really don’t see how anyone could inflict that much pain on themselves. I think it would be wise for our government to use these devices as a mechanism for torture. There is no way any secrets would be kept once you got near a sensitive part with the device, and on a man this means anywhere. When they get a taste of what the epilator can do, they know they won’t stand a chance. But since I am a trooper, I will be using it again because I know the first time is the most painful and I strive to have my leg hair grow in thinner and silkier so that I will only use the torture device every three weeks. Beauty is pain.
This week I can’t get enough of tandem biking. My new boyfriend was nice enough to track down a super cool racing tandem bike for us to ride. This works because he supplies the vision and all I have to do is pedal and enjoy the ride. After about an hour of practicing the whole taking off and getting in sync, the next day we decided to take it on the road. The next thing I knew we were riding 20 miles down country roads and taking some hills at over 20 miles per hour. The tandem bike is slower going uphill, but faster going down. Although I was saddle sore because of the narrow bike seat and a little burned on my back because I failed to use sunscreen, it was all worth the thrill of being on the bike on the road again. I felt pretty close to normal. Our goal is to get up to an average speed of 20 MPH over 40 miles so we can ride with his bike club. And at the rate we are going that should only be a month or two away.
So, I must cop to the fact that I met my new boyfriend on EHarmony (formerly known as EHellmony). He was the last guy that I decided to go on a date with before I asked it to send no more matches and cancel my subscription. I am so glad I went on that date, because I met someone who had everything I was looking for. And I knew it right away. We talked on the phone 3 times before the date for several hours at a time so by the first date I knew I really liked him. One date and one weekend later I was in a monogamous relationship and happy as a clam. I think we could be one of those couples on the EHarmony commercial. Go figure.
I wonder why, at that point in which I gave up and decided to stop dating that it was the point in which the person I had been waiting for showed up. I know I am not the only one that has that story to tell. What has been interesting is how much I have had to work on being in a relationship where someone wants to take care of me and feels the same way about me as I feel about them. Caring, mutual respect and reciprocity seem like something that should have been in every relationship, but I am not sure it was in any of mine. I was used to being the one taking care of the other person and making the plans, and now I am with someone who is also a caretaker who likes to make the plans. It is so wonderful and so foreign at the same time, and we are both working on letting ourselves be taken care of.
I was asked how it felt to finally be in a relationship with someone who could be my life partner, a relationship that I deserve. All I could do was cry. Because the answer is a mix of gratitude, wonder and at the same time a fear that you could possibly mess this up. My boyfriend described it perfectly as seeing an oasis in the desert and, at first, wondering if it is a mirage. Then when you get up close and realize it is the water you have been wanting, you can’t seem to stop drinking it and at the same time you want to make sure that water does not go away so that you are thirsty again.
In one of my recent blogs I talked about the importance of finding a person to share your life story with and to experience your life. Now that I have that I feel a little less unsure about my future, more calm and steady and more hopeful about what is in store for me and for us. I think I learned that there are people out there for us and that we do not have to settle. Being open to love and willing to date eventually lead to a loving relationship. If it worked for me, then it can work for anyone. So keep your eyes, ears and heart open and trust that you will find the right person, one day.
The blog will be on hiatus next week because I am on vacation!
Keep Moving Forward,
Beth (BLOVI) Medlock
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