The Adventures of the Blind/Low Vision/Visually Impaired (BLOVI) Girl-Volume 38: It’s a Cruel Summer
This summer has been so challenging. My daughter is going through a very rough patch and that has consumed most of my energy and my boyfriend’s mom has been in the hospital three times and is finally settled at a rehab center. And the heat is unbearable as are my sinus problems. I know I am bitching, but I can’t wait for this summer to be over and that is the focus of the blog. But First…………….
My WTF of the week is the fact I pulled my back out of alignment trying to pick up my child during a temper tantrum (hers). My whole left side seized up so I went to get a massage. For the first time ever the masseuse told me that my spine was off in two places and it felt like I was twisted and that I needed to see a chiropractor. SO I called my friend Shelly who is a chiropractor and I am getting adjusted this week. I am not sure if I will come out of there less twisted, but I sure hope my spine is aligned.
This week I can’t get enough of the fact that I can still ride a bike on my own. This past weekend I took the bike off the trainer and rode a few miles around the neighborhood, following my boyfriend so I did not run into anything. But I did do a loop on my own. What I found is that without a visual point of reference it is hard to stay in a straight line. I was all over the place at first. But when I picked a point to track with a bike in front of me I did a little better. I will say that riding the bike on my own is not an option, but I can ride with a partner and that is pretty cool. We also bought a tandem and are working on it. It is going to have an awesome color scheme.
This summer has been very stressful. There were health and medical issues that arose in June with my boyfriend’s mom and about the same time my daughter started having temper tantrums which have not stopped and have intensified over the summer (yes my super cute and endearing child has tantrums of epic proportions). I feel I have done the best I can dealing with it because I check things out with my friends who are therapists and between that and my background I have the tools I need. What I have found is that it takes every ounce of energy to employ those tools and to stay calm. I will admit that I have locked myself in a room a few times and screamed and I have been hitting the punching bag more often. I can say that I now see how some people lose control and spank or hit their kids. And I appreciate all the patience it takes not to do that, especially when you are in hour three of the tantrum. If I drank I would have resorted to that by now.
My child is angry and that anger has little to do with me, I am just the safe target. But I have to keep reminding myself of that so I don’t end of thinking I am a terrible parent. The truth is that I do the best I can and I do OK. If I start doubting my parenting it will not serve my child well. Believing you are doing and saying the right things to keep your child safe and stable is half the battle. Being consistent is the other half. Parenting is not at all easy if you are doing it well. Like a marriage or a relationship, it takes work. Luckily I am a hard worker. And I am so glad I waited until my late 30’s to have a child, because I think I am a better parent because of wisdom and patience. I don’t think I had those 10 years ago.
I also know that parenting is a full time job and when your child is having a rough time your work and own life become secondary. I have not focused on work much this summer because I have not been able to and I don’t feel bad or guilty about it because work is just work but helping your child is life. And I have not focused much on myself until recently when my body started breaking down because of the stress. I need to be healthy to get through this so I am taking more breaks and getting more rest.
I know I am not the only parent that is sooooo ready for school to start. And I am sure that I am not the only parent who needs a break from their child, which I am getting next week while she is at the beach with her dad. So I and the blog will be on hiatus next week.
Keep Moving Forward,
Beth (BLOVI) Medlock
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